


Double U

by adelineTM



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst?, Arranged Marriage, Blood, Canon Compliant, Clothed Sex, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Identity Issues, Loss of Virginity, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader is a volleyball player, Stabbing, Swearing, Tags Are Hard, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, but not entirely, only one chapter, sex in a yukata, the rest is fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26979157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelineTM/pseuds/adelineTM
Summary: "She's not my relative, she's my wife," his teammates stare at him with wide eyes and dropped jaws. The fact that they know that he's not joking is making the situation worse. Even coach Washijo is shocked by Ushijima's statement.A story in which you and Ushijima were promised to each other since you were children and eventually get married... at 18... Chaos is unleashed.
Relationships: Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Comments: 54
Kudos: 241





	1. ⇨prologue.

_"Are you sure about this?" He asks, taking his eyes away from the sky to look at her._ _The_ _woman_ _next to him is_ _absently_ _staring at the beautiful_ _sunset_ _. She sighs and turns to face him._

 _"Of_ _course_ _I am sure! I don't care about my mother's_ _wishes_ _, this wedding will not take place!"_

 _"But why so_ _suddenly? You were fine with it until a_ _couple_ _of weeks ago"_

_"Because I realized that no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be happy together. We have been friends for as long as I can remember and I don't want to ruin our relationship by getting married because our parents said so. Arranged marriages always end up in divorces, have they never watched a soap opera or something?!"_

_She crosses her hands over her chest, pouting like a child and puffing on her nose. So much for acting like a twenty three year old woman. The man laughs and she can't help but crack a smile as well._

_"And..." she begins, looking back at the sky with a lost look on her face. "We both are in love with other people as well," he opens wide his eyes at her statement and blushes madly at being found out._

_"You—You noticed?" He rubs the back of his head in a nervous way. She sighs._

_"Of course I did. You look at Ushijima-san like she's God walking on Earth. It was pretty obvious, trust me."_

_"E-Eh?!"_

_"I saw you two talking when she came to congratulate you on your victory. You looked constipated the whole time—"_

_"(Mother's name)!" She starts laughing out loud, covering her mouth with her hand. "Stop laughing, you have no idea how hard it was to talk to her. I thought I was going to faint!"_

_"Well, get used to it. Now that you are a professional volleyball player, more girls will come to court you," she winks at him, grinning._

_"You're not mad?" He asks shyly._

_"Mad? No, on the contrary. I'm relieved that you are not in love with **me**. Now I know that I can end things without feeling bad," she stands up and dusts herself off. "Let's go, we have a dinner to attend and a wedding to cancel"_

_He doesn't get up immediately, just looks down. The fear is starting to bubble up in his chest._

_"Are you sure that you—"_

_"Taka-kun, we are not going to get married. Period. Now, let's go eat our last meal before our parents murder us"_

_"Don't joke about that!" She laughs at him again as he gets up and they start walking towards his house._

_"Nee, I know that this is coming out of nowhere, but let's never arrange a marriage for our children, okay? Can you promise me that?"_

_"I promise"_

_**And yet...** _

_"(Name), this is Wakatoshi-kun. One day you are going to be his bride so try to get along with him, okay?"_


	2. →chapter 1.

Shiratorizawa's boys' team was training alone since the teachers had an important meeting to attend. Nothing is really different, Ushijima is as serious as ever, even though the rest are trying to relax and take it easier.

"Is the demon coach here?" You ask, sticking your head inside the gym, looking around to spot the old man.

"That's a rude thing to say, (Name)," Ushijima tells you, and you roll your eyes at him, fully stepping inside. They see you as their savior since you and their captain start talking at the back of the court and that means that they get a longer break.

"She's coming here more often than before," Reon says after taking a sip from his water bottle.

"She's the only girl I've seen Wakatoshi talk to for more than 3 seconds," Yamagata adds, "I wonder what's with him"

"Her name got changed recently, right? Maybe they are related," Semi comments, but Tendou giggles behind him. "Okay, spit it out. What do you know?"

"Me?" The middle-blocker puts his hand on his chest, leaning back. "I know nothing, hehehe!" He says in a sing-sang tone and the 3rd-year setter almost punches him, if it weren't for your voice, completely covering the others.

"Your receives still suck, you know that?" The whole team stares at you with wide eyes and open mouths. The only one that would ever say something like this to the ace would be their coach, and only him. 

"They don't," the captain frowns and protests, but you punch him in the stomach. He bends down, and then looks up at you with a glare that could kill you. Everyone feels the tension.

"They do, you idiot. You're letting your libero and your vice-captain do all the work while you just sit there and wait for the setter to use you. You need to be a better all-round player if you want to go pro! Not just hit the ball at full force, you're not a caveman!" At this statement, Tendou bursts out laughing. 

"I see that you're as harsh as always with your insults, (Name)-chan"

"He deserves it. Look at him, he's useless otherwise," the olive-haired boy keeps glaring at you, but you don't seem scared of him. You actually have a large grin on your face. 

"Ushijima-san!" A girl yells from the door and you and the captain turn your heads to look at her. "Ah, I'm sorry, I mean, (Name)-san!"

"Yes, what's wrong?" _**You hate to be called 'Ushijima'.**_

"Minako-san and Yumena-san are fighting again! We tried to calm them down, but they completely ignored us, and Nari-san didn't want to intervene between them," the first-year girl from your team gives you the report. You sigh loudly and start walking towards the door, knowing that you'll have to stop your setters before they tear each other apart.

"I'm counting on you guys to do some receiving practice with him! Bye!" You start jogging towards the other building, being followed by the two girls that came after you. Ushijima just stares at your departing form, before placing down the water bottle to return back to practice. 

Half an hour later, they take another break, this time going outside to take some fresh air. The rest of the team has scattered around the school grounds, while the 3rd years with Shirabu, Taichi and Goshiki are waiting for them to return. 

"I can't believe (Name) made us run around the _fucking school!_ " A girl yells. "This is only your fault, you know that?"

"Huh?! I wasn't the one that was a salty bitch, you started it!" They pass by the gym, but one of them stops as she sees Ushijima. 

"She's not here, right?" She asks him, but before he can give her an answer , you speak from behind her.

"Nope, I'm over here," the setters don't turn back to look at you, but know that you are mad at them. "You two are terrible. How many times do I have to remind you that you are **teammates** , huh? You are causing problems for the whole team and are putting me in a delicate situation in front of our advisor," when they don't say anything, you let out an exhale. "Come on, keep going. You have 9 more laps"

The girls start running again, this time, in silence. You watch them as they depart. 

"You should go with the 3rd year setter," Ushijima suddenly speaks up. "She has more experience on the court and knows the spikers better"

"Then why is Shirabu Kenjiro your starting setter, and not Semi Eita?" You look Shirabu straight in the eyes and he feels shivers going down his body. He has seen that intense gaze before. Way back in his middle-school.

"Listen, Wakatoshi. For you it's easier to speak, you don't make the choices regarding the starting line-up. But I do, since our team has no coach. I have to train them myself too. I'm aware that Minako is a good setter, but Yumena is the one that our team needs in order to go to nationals. Sometimes I wonder why you are the captain of the team, seriously now," Tendou laughs again.

"(Naaaaaaaame)! You piece of shit, come back here!" A new voice yells from behind. You run to the left, but quickly turn on your heels and dash out of there in a few seconds in the opposite direction, passing in front of the boys like lighting. The girl chasing you wasn't that slow either. 

"Oh, that must've been their libero, Nari-chan," Tendou states, watching the blonde girl getting smaller and smaller as the tries to catch up with you.

"Ushijima-san, can I ask you something?" Shirabu says and receives a positive answer from his captain. "Was Ushijima-san's name in middle school—wait, this is confusing"

"You can call her (Name)," Ushijima informs him.

"O-Oh, okay. Then, was (Name)-san's name in middle school (Last name)?" 

"Yes"

"That explains why she seemed so familiar. We went to the same middle school, though her being an year older than me, I've rarely seen her on campus. But she was a star, everyone knew about her"

"What do you mean?" Ushijima frowns. He doesn't know much about your middle-school days, since you didn't use to talk to him that much back then.

"She was the captain of the track and field team. She was the fastest out of all of them and people used to call her **'the thunderbolt of Toyokuro'** "

"Sounds to me like you had a crush on her," Tendou teases him.

"I didn't!" The setter fights back immediately, but can't hide his flustered face. 

"I was just kidding, Kenjiro. Wakatoshi-kun, are you okay?" The red-haired asks his friend, seeing the deep frown on his face.

"I didn't know that (Name) was on the track team. She told me that she wasn't part of a club while she was in middle school"

"What do you think is the reason?" Washijou intervenes. "She was ashamed of herself for having a relative that was already known in the sports world from such a young age, while she only got some recognition in her final year. That's probably why she switched to volleyball too, to compete against you," Ushijima stares at him for a few seconds, processing the information. 

"I see..." he answers. They prepare to get back inside; Ushijima gets up as well and speaks again. 

"She's not my relative, she's my wife," his teammates stare at him with wide eyes and dropped jaws. The fact that they know that he's not joking is making the situation worse. Even coach Washijou is shocked by Ushijima's statement. 

"Ehhh?! Whaaaat?!" They all speak simultaneously. 

"Oi, why are _you_ surprised?!" Semi smacks Tendou in the shoulder. "Didn't you know already?"

"I did, but I'm still shocked about it. Is (Name)-chan okay with you saying this, Wakatoshi-kun?" 

"Yes, she said that it was okay"

"Hold on. Pause," Yamagata starts. "When did this happen? Why weren't _we_ invited? Do you guys have rings?"

"We got married after we both turned eighteen, it was arranged by our parents. Only Tendou and Nari were invited, the rest of the guests were family members," Ushijima answers every question in order. "As for the rings," he inserts his hand in his T-shirt and pulls out a necklace from which a golden ring is hanging. "We're not allowed to wear jewelry in school so we keep our wedding bands under our clothes"

They are still staring at him. _This is surreal_. Their Ushijima, their 'super volleyball idiot', is not dating someone, _no_ , he has a **wife**. Arranged or not, he's **married** to someone.

The next time you stop by the gym to say hi, they come and congratulate you and wish you both happiness.

_But happiness is the last thing on the list when you think about the whole situation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes about this story! Please read them so you can understand things that aren't clear!
> 
> ◉'Toyokuro' is the name of Shirabu's middle-school given in the manga. I own the volume, that's why I know, since it wasn't mentioned in the anime.
> 
> ◉Ushijima turns 18 in August so this chapter is placed after the summer vacation(somewhere in September). If your birthday is after that, I'm so sorry, please roll with it!
> 
> ◉Reader's name issue is something I realized after fully putting the story together. I need her family name to be 'Ushijima', for plot reasons, obviously, but normally you wouldn't change your name for a few months left of school, especially in official documents and so on.... I'm sorry for being such an idiot
> 
> ◉The time of the anime is set in 2012-2013, but I will use modern technology! This is semi-cannon compliant, which means that Shiratorizawa still loses to Karasuno, but other things happen differently than in the anime/manga. No major plot changes! 
> 
> ◉Since the girls' team is important to the story, I had to give them names, so we have:  
> —Nari, libero, 3rd year  
> —Minako, setter, 3rd year  
> —Akane, MB, 3rd year  
> —Yumena, setter, 2nd year  
> There are other girls on the team, but their roles are not important. As for your position, wait and find out!


	3. →chapter 2.

Even though you come to see him at practice from time to time, there is no other type of interaction between you and Ushijima. The team never saw you two kissing, not even holding hands. You are in a different class than him, but he never comes to ask you to eat lunch with him or simply to hang out around the campus. They soon come to realize that maybe it is because your relationship isn't a normal one. Your marriage was forced, and probably neither of you wanted it. 

_'But why now?'_ It is the question that's on everyone's mind. 

"I wonder what type of people her parents are for forcing their daughter to marry at such a young age," Yamagata says one time during their break.

"Her parents passed away three years ago," Tendou informs him, "and then her grandma, who was actually the one who arranged the marriage if I'm not wrong, also died last year"

The team is speechless. They turn to look at you, talking to Ushijima and laughing while the captain frowns at you. 

"I was sure that they would cancel the wedding, but as you can see, that didn't happen. Things are still pretty awkward between them, but they're trying their best to make it work. So, you don't have to worry about our captain. Wakatoshi-kun is in good hands"

Right after Tendou finishes talking, you hit Ushijima in the back with your knee, yelling something at him about his blocking.

•••

No matter how much you want to see his match against Karasuno, you are busy with your own at the moment. They made a mistake in the schedule and so, the finals for the girls' category are going to be held the next day, but instead you have two matches today. 

Luckily for you, the first one ends faster than expected so you rush to watch the rest of the fifth set. Usually, Shiratorizawa would have won after 3 or 4 sets, but this time it isn't Aoba Johsai that they are playing against, but a team you've never heard about. They must be strong, if they managed to steal two sets from Shiratorizawa. But nothing could beat your school's team, they are the strongest in the whole prefecture for a reason.

Karasuno's number 10 spikes the ball and Yamagata isn't able to receive it properly, bouncing off limits, even though Reon tries to get it. The match ends in Karasuno's victory. 

After bowing down and thanking the crowd for their support, Ushijima rises up and his eyes lock with yours. You're not crying, neither is he, but you can tell what he is thinking about. Those large and calm olive orbs hold so many hidden emotions. Even though you want to smile at him, to reassure him that everything is okay, you can't. 

They walk back to their coaches and you can tell that some of them start crying. It is a rare sight to see, Shiratorizawa's team being defeated. Your teammates call for you, announcing that your next match is going to start soon.

If you don't win against this team and make it to the finals, everything will be done for. _Will you collapse under all this pressure?_

•••

As you reach the boys' gym, coach Washijo and coach Saito step outside to let the boys finish cleaning up after they're done with the 100 serves. You put your own volleyball shoes on and get inside.

"Woah, this is one hell of a punishment for losing," they all turn to look at you.

"It was either this or running back from the gymnasium to the school. I guess that we got lucky today," Reon tells you. 

"You call this lucky?! What are you guys, masochists?!"

"Hahaha, yeah, maybe we are," says Yamagata. Tendou pushes Ushijima so now the tall spiker is in front of you. All of them are staring at you two.

"Hi," you start simply, "good work today. I didn't have time to watch the video, but I know that all of you did your best—I don't know why I am saying this, I'm not part of the team—" 

"No, you can keep going. You are a volleyball player as well. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you are inferior to us," Semi interrupts you. "Plus, you might know how to cheer us up better than anyone else, since you're used to give speeches like this one—" He stops himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that"

"It's okay," you reassure him, "I know very well what people are saying about us behind our backs. Our team hasn't been to nationals in years. We advanced to the finals and are playing against Niiyama tomorrow. If we don't win, our club might be disbanded"

"We'll be there to support you tomorrow, (Name)-san!" Goshiki announces proudly. You open wide your eyes then wave your hand at him in a dismissing gesture.

"No, no, you don't have to—"

"We'll be there," Ushijima cuts you off, speaking in a cold tone. You sigh and silently accept the situation. 

"You guys can leave now. Wakatoshi and I can finish cleaning up. You must be tired from your punishment. Of course, if you agree as well," Ushijima nods. The reason is that you wanted to have a private conversation with him, even though you are pretty sure that some boys might stick around to eavesdrop. 

They soon empty the gym, leaving the captain and you alone. Tendou drags his friends back and silences them instantly. 

"Come here," Ushijima gives you a confused look. Or so you assume, since his expression didn't change much. "Don't stay there and come here, I know that you are in need of a hug," you open wide your arms, waiting. 

He stares at you for a few seconds, but then walks up to you, burying his head in the crook of your neck and embracing your much smaller body. You wrap your hands around his shoulders, offering safety and support. You hear him softly sob, trying to muffle the noises so you won't hear him. 

"I want you to know that I'm proud of you. Even though you might be disappointed in yourself for what happened, you are still an amazing ace in my eyes," you rub circles on his wide back, feeling his whole body shaking. 

"This reminds me of when we were children and you used to cry after I yelled at you. I had to comfort you every time," you laugh softly and he doesn't deny it. 

You move back, lifting his head so you can admire his teary and puffy olive eyes. You gently cup his face, wiping away the tears with your thumbs. 

"When did you get so tall?" You say in a soft voice, having to look up at him. "Life was much easier when you were shorter than me. It was the only thing I was better than you," he puts his hands on top of yours. They are at least 2 times bigger, rough and calloused. 

"That's not true, (Name), you are better than me at a lot of things. Your grades are higher than mine and you're an excellent captain for your team. I'm sure that you will lead them to victory tomorrow" 

"If you say so," you give him a soft smile and retreat your hands. You start picking up the balls, building up your courage to finally address what has been on your mind for months, maybe even years. 

"Wakatoshi, there's something I've wanted to tell you," he's working on taking down the net, but stops to listen to you. 

You take a big breath and say, "I'm quitting volleyball after high-school," you expect him to be totally unaffected by this, but he actually looks surprised at your words, but soon returns to his stoic expression.

"If this is what you want, I can't force you to keep going," you blink a few times.

"Aren't you going to ask me why? Don't you want to know?"

"I do," he returns to his work, "but I don't want to seem intrusive. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he's always considerate about what you feel and never oversteps his boundaries to the point that you think that he doesn't care about you. Oh, but he does, _how can he not?_

"Geez, you are so difficult sometimes," you giggle, "it's not because I don't like the sport, it's just... this is not what I want to do with my future; you want to go pro, not me. I started playing volleyball just so I can get closer to you"

"I see. Then are you returning to track and field? You did it in middle-school after all," you snap your neck to look at him.

"W-What? How do you know?"

"Shirabu told us. He went to the same middle-school as you did," you curse under your breath. You managed to hide it so well for 3 years.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice is soft and low and you can feel the pain in it, even though he probably didn't want to let it show. 

"Because at that time, I didn't want you to get closer to me. I wanted you to know as little about me as possible. And then I felt bad for lying to you, but since you never asked again, I didn't bring it up either"

You watch him as he takes the net to the storage room, while you bring the cart with balls there as well.

"Nari and I were on the same team. We were pretty good, after all, we placed second on nation..." the memories from that day flash through your mind, bringing back all the negative emotions. _Things that still keep you up at night._

You are looking down and for a second, the tracksuit that you have on disappears and you see your bare legs, bruised and bleeding knees, with blood dripping down on your (color) running shoes. Ushijima snaps you out of your thoughts by lifting your chin.

"It's okay, I'm not mad at you. You don't have to worry about it now, focus on your match from tomorrow," you nod. "Let's go. I'll walk you to your dorm"

"Are you sure? Aren't you tired?" 

"Yes, but so are you. Let me do this (Name), let me try to be a good husband to you" 

"As you wish," you flash him a wide smile and you both leave the gym. The team has left a long time ago, giving you the privacy that you deserved. 

You walk next to each other, not holding hands, just exchanging glances from time to time while talking about his match. When you reach the girls' dorm, you don't hug or kiss, you just say a quick 'good night' while smiling. He waits in front of the building until you get inside and then leaves as well. 

You don't need physical affection to know how you feel about each other. Either of you has known before the wedding took place. You are taking slow but steady steps in this relationship. 

You try to ignore what people are saying behind your back, but it's getting harder and harder each day. _But if you have Ushijima by your side, you can face everything._

As you are getting changed into your pajamas, you take a look at the ring around your neck. You rarely wear it on your finger, but it's always close to your heart, together with your feelings for Ushijima. Feelings that still confuse you and make you feel uncertain about your marriage.

You pause to analyze the engraving on the inside of the band: _"stronger together"_. You're equal to each other in this relationship... or so it was supposed to be. After different rumors started spreading around the school, you no longer know who you are. It's "Ushijima's relative" or "Ushijima's supposed wife", but never "(Name), captain of the volleyball team", "(Name) from the advanced class", "(Name)—"...

It's never your own name. Like all of your accomplishments exist only because you got married to him. Your presence is overshadowed by him—and it's not his fault, you know that very well. But you are still mad and hurting. 

Nari sees you staring at that ring with a grave scowl, just like you used to do in middle-school at people. She doesn't say anything since she has no idea how to comfort you. Even when your parents died, her only words were: "I'm so sorry for your loss". You thanked her in a cold tone and hid all your emotions behind empty eyes. You built walls around you, isolating yourself from people that tried to get closer to you.

But you made the mistake—or the right choice—to let **him** pass through those walls. And before you knew it, they started to crumble, as more people joined. 

Nari hopes that you can get over what's bugging you at the moment before the match starts tomorrow. Otherwise, they might have a huge problem if their captain and their cornerstone for blocking won't be able to concentrate and do her job properly. 


	4. →chapter 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead! I've spent days thinking about this match and it's probably the whole reason I wrote this story. TW: blood!

Shiratorizawa's boys' volleyball team reaches the tribunes and claims their seats in the first row. Though, almost none of them actually sit down, but close to the border so they can see everything better. Their coach is here as well, a gesture that's so uncharacteristic for him since he was never interested in female players. 

This is new to Ushijima as well. He never came to any of your matches before. Your team never made it so far in a tournament and he was always playing at the same time as you. Of course, you didn't want him to see your team being defeated or crying after another lost. You never cried though, you stood tall and emotionless, but deep down, you blamed yourself for all the balls that you could've blocked, but didn't. You compared yourself to him and fell deeper into despair. _But nobody knew this._

"I still can't believe that you were teammates, Shimizu," Sugawara speaks as he and the other 3rd years from his team sit down. He looks to his right and screams as he makes eye contact with their rivals from the previous day. "What are you doing here?!"

"We're here to support our girls," Reon answers calmly. 

"O-Oh, right, that makes sense" the grey-haired setter rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

"What do you mean by 'teammates'?" Ushijima's deep voice echoes through the stadium, his eyes fixated on Kiyoko's small form. She tries to search for an excuse, but Shirabu saves her.

"It's alright, he knows already," the girl nods and gains more confidence to speak to the ace.

"I was on the track and field team together with her and Nari-chan in middle school," is her simple explanation. Ushijima doesn't need more than that. 

Someone hums behind them. "I can't believe they're not here already. What's taking (Name) so much to assemble her team?" They all turn to see who joined them and are meet with the figure of the 3rd year setter from your team, Minako, dressed in civil clothes. 

"Oi, oi, oi, what happened to you?" Semi asks, noticing the cast on her left arm. 

"Ah, this?" She says in a cheerful tone, like she was talking about food. "I made a bet with Nari that I can handstand more than her, but I lost my balance and then this happened," she lifts her arm to show them her cast better. "I am not the starting setter anyway, so it's not like they're going to need me," the smile she uses to try to hide away her pain is so forced.

"But you are one of their best pinch servers," Kiyoko tells her just as the big door opens and your team steps inside. While the majority of them seem confident or in good-spirits, you look like someone dragged you out of the grave. Your hair is all over your face and you have a harsh scowl like you want to murder someone. 

Well, the cause of your sleepless night was Ushijima's determination to come. Saying that you are nervous is an understatement. 

"Oh, no..." Minako whispers. "Oh, no, no, no, this is bad" 

And indeed, things go from bad to _worse_.

At the spiking warm-up, you don't sync up with the ball tossed by your setter, no matter how hard you try. Niiyama's girls, the so called 'Queens', watch in amusement as you pathetically step out of the court and sit down on the bench. Nari stares at you for a few seconds, before returning to receiving. The thing that she feared the most has become reality. 

"Oh? I thought that the girls didn't have a coach," Tendou comments as the team gathers around an older woman. She was smiling sweetly at them. After a moment, you get up and say something to the players as well, but in the same cold and distant manner. 

"They don't," Washijou answers, "that's their advisor"

"Coach, isn't that your wife?" Reon asks, remembering that she was his English teacher in his first year of high-school.

"Yes. Terano offered to advise the team this year since no other teacher volunteered. Their hopes aren't that high for these girls. ," Ushijima looks distant at the court. Nobody ever believed in you, even he had a period when he told you that it would be better for you to quit. The rage in your eyes and voice was enough for him to never doubt you ever again.

The starting line-up is getting announced, each player joining their team on the court. When your name is called, the crowd yells for 'Ushijima' or 'Ushijima-san'. The same cheering squad was yesterday. Of course that it will be _his_ name. _You no longer matter as an individual._ You don't even spare one glance in the tribunes to look at him. It's not his fault, but you need to blame it on someone.

The person in front of you, separated by the net, is one of Niiyama's 3rd years, _their ace, to be exact_. She looks down on you, not considering you an actual threat at all. The last time you played against her was in your 2nd year and her team mopped the floor with yours. This year you were in different blocks. She has no idea how you made it so far, but assumes that it was due to pure luck. 

You wanted to be the ace of your team as well, just like Ushijima was for his. But training as a wing spiker was harder than you've imagined and it never gave you satisfaction. The only moment you actually liked volleyball was when you were blocking Ushijima's spikes. And so, an idea popped in your head and the next day you announced that you would switch to blocking. 

You told yourself: _'You don't have to imitate him to be recognized'._ And here you are, not jumping to block a spike, as you are too distracted by your thoughts to concentrate on the match. 

"What the hell is she doing?" Minako approaches the border, fuming. "Why is Nari just standing there like an idiot and not saying anything to her?" You two are always bickering and fighting, to the point that you scare the 1st years. One of them actually started crying when you headbutted the libero so hard that she started bleeding from her nose.

In reality, Nari is still trying to figure out what's wrong with you. Even though you've known each other for such a long time, she always has a hard time understanding you. The only time you two talk about your feelings or insecurities is when you two can't sleep at 3 a.m. and it's usually just her complaining about her parents. But one night before the Inter-high started, you told her:

_'It's weird to hear people calling me 'Ushijima'. The way it rolls off their tongue... it doesn't feel right'_

Nari facepalms herself. _So this was it_.

Ushijima is well known in the whole academy for different reasons. His grades are higher than some might have expected, and that was only because you help him study. Nari had walked in many times on you two doing this, either in your room or in the library. It never bothered you, after all, he was putting work into his grades as well.

After getting married to him, you started attracting all this attention towards you. The girl that was so insignificant, became suddenly the subject of every gossip in the academy. And not only that, but the image you've build for yourself was reduced to just being Ushijima's _something_.

And maybe that's what you are... **You are nothing without Ushijima.** Your own existence revolves around him. 

The first sets ends and it's taken by your rivals. You go to sit down on the bench, drinking from your water bottle. The team is quiet and your advisor doesn't know what to say to cheer them up. But Nari has had enough of your bullshit; your sulking ends here. She marches towards you and grabs you by the jersey, lifting you up. 

Before you can say something, she slaps you hard across the face, turning your entire head to the right. 

"What was that for—" Another slap, this time from the other side. Everyone has their eyes wide open in shock. You look at her like you want to end her. And oh, boy, you are so close of doing it.

"Listen here, _you stupid bitch_ ," the team knows better than to intervene between you two, but you were in the middle of a match, Minako isn't here and Akane is just staring. If there's someone that can talk back to you or put you in your place, is the libero and her only.

"Do you think that just because your name got changed, you are no longer yourself? Fuck no! You are still as annoying and as heartless as ever," she lets go of your T-shirt, lifting her hand to shamelessly point at Ushijima in the stands. "You are the one on the court, not him! He lost yesterday, but you still have a chance to go to the nationals," your head is bowed, no longer bearing the looks coming from everyone around you. 

Nari sighs and grabs the necklace, pulling it over your clothes. "This thing right here, means absolutely nothing to me. On the court, you are you, you are our wall. And if you fall, we fall with you. Don't give up on me like you did three years ago, (Name). We need you in order to win"

The referee announces the beginning of the second set. Your team walks back on the court, hoping for the best. The air suddenly gets thicker.

A random girl for Niiyama serves and Nari receives the ball perfectly. In the meantime it takes for it to reach your setter, Yumena contemplates if she should toss the ball to you or not. In the previous set, she never did it, as she could tell that you were not at your best.

There is not such thing as an ace on your team. Sure, the 2nd year wing spiker can be considered one, but she's nothing compared to Niiyama's. You are the one that scores most of the points, either through blocking or through the quicks you learned to hit. 

The setter sees you waiting and decides that it is now or never.

"(Name)-san!" She calls for you, surprising everyone. The blockers from the other team lock their eyes on you. They blink only once and now you are in front of them, jumping and spiking the ball with enough force for it to hit the ground and to bounce off the limits.

"That's the form of someone who trained until their body dropped," Washijou comments. Both in track and in volleyball, you always struck to reach perfection. 

The team starts celebrating for the point. You bow slightly in front of them.

"I'm sorry for causing you problems. Let's win this now," you have a devilish grin on your face, looking determined and confident. This is their captain, this is their best blocker. This is the person that trained them spartanly so that they can stand here today.

"Ah, they've awoken the monster from her slumber," Minako comments. 

For the first time that day, you look in the tribune, spotting Ushijima. Your eyes lock for a second, but your grin doesn't go away, sending him a clear message: _'I'm strong. I don't depend on you'._ You are stepping out from under his shadow.

Ushijima can't help but smile softly. He was starting to get worried, but seeing you acting tough again makes his relax. He doesn't care that he's not the one going to the nationals this year. On the contrary, he cares more about this match than he cared about his own. 

And as if it wasn't enough of a humiliation for them that you scored a point like that after being absent for a whole set, you won the next two sets consecutively. You are fast in completing the block, smashing down the ball with no problem. The quick you do hasn't been blocked yet, since they could barely keep up with you. The only thing that you haven't done yet is jump serving. You still don't feel confident about it.

During the break before the beginning of the forth set, Niiyama's ace loses it.

"How come that she plays like that? Was the first set a joke to throw us off? She sucked last year! Her blocks were low—" the captain stops her before she can go on with her insults. You don't even bother to look at her and roll your eyes. She takes this as an insult and promises to show you who you're messing with. _Either on the court **or outside of it.**_

The game resumes and you're leading again. Your team is starting to get tired and so you hope that this will be the final set. Nobody here has ever played 5 sets in a row. You're not sure if you yourself can make it to the end.

The ball bounces off the block, Akane yelling a _'one touch'_. Since you are in the back, you go after it before it touches the ground. Every point matters as it means finishing this sooner. You see the blue divider in front of you as a hurdle, and you jump over it just like you used to do all these years ago. But your form loses balance as you extend your arm to send the ball back to the court. 

The tip of your shoe touches the divider, making you fall on the ground and the object collapses on top of you. You get up as fast as you can, glancing at Ushijima once before returning to the court. You jump over the same divider and then stop right there as the point was already scored by your ace. The team looks at you and suddenly their face morph into fear. 

You want to ask why they are looking at you like that until you feel pain in your leg and something warm gliding down. You immediately take a look at your member and find a cut deep enough for blood to come out, already having stained your white sock. 

There's so much adrenaline in your body that you didn't even feel it. It might have happened when you jumped over the second time and scratched yourself against the metal leg of the divider. Your thoughts become a mess.

You start panicking internally, looking around and trying to find a solution to this situation. The set is far from ending soon so maybe you can send someone in your place and you can sit down until the bleeding stops. 

"Go to the infirmary," your advisor intervenes. The older woman always has a kind expression and a soft voice; that's the main reason the team never listens to her. But right now, she was dead serious looking and before you can even protest, she speaks again. "We don't know how deep that cut is and the last thing we want is for it to get infected" 

A teammate brings you a paper towel so you wrap it around the wound, hoping to slow down the bleeding. The only thing you can do is to agree and obey. You address the other middle blocker in your team and announce her that she's going in. You can tell that she's terrified, but there's nothing else that can be done. You look at the score one more time and sigh. _'Just believe in them, (Name)!'_

"Miss, you've dropped this," a man hands you back your necklace, now broken. You didn't even notice it missing. You can't put it back on and you have no where to store it so you give it to your advisor, gently placing it in her hand. She looks at it and finally understands what it is, clenching her fist to keep the ring safe.

You have to do one more thing before leaving though. You walk in front of Nari and Akane, grabbing them by the collar of their jerseys and lifting them off the ground. 

"Don't drag this to the 5th set," they nod and you put them back down, and soon take your leave as the break is over. You run towards the door, glancing at your husband one more time before stepping into the hall and heading towards the infirmary. He's worried and scared.

"You're not going after her?" Kiyoko asks Ushijima. You and her weren't as close as you were with Nari, but she knew about the marriage as well.

"I want to, but I know that she will send me back. What (Name) is trying to prove right now is that she can win on her own. And if I go there, people will say that I was the one that told her what to do"

Even if nobody wants this, the game keeps going without you there. They manage just fine, having the other two 3rd years there to back things up, maintaining a difference of 3 points until their rivals sub in another pinch server. It feels like hours for Shiratorizawa, waiting for you to return. Niiyama scores another point in the meantime and brings the total to 21-21 . 

Just as they were about to lose hope for this set, you step back inside, panting, and looking around with desperate eyes. All of your hair is now tied in the back, exposing your face and you have more of your fingers taped. Your leg is wrapped around in bandages as well.

You run back to the bench, checking the scoreboard on your way. You softly exhale, relieved that you made it in time. You crouch down in front of your 'coach'. 

"The bleeding has stopped. The cut wasn't that deep or infected so I can go back to playing immediately," you speak too fast for anyone to understand, but luckily for you, she already knows what you want. She hands you the number of the middle blocker that took your place and you sit down on the bench. Judging by the rotation, she's up serving next so you just have to wait for your team to obtain another point.

And it happens sooner than expected, since they are back in a good mood. You rise up from the bench, walking towards the court. The girl approaches you and you switch places. You flash the other team a large grin and go in the back to serve. Your first jump serve of the day, right at the end of the match. 

"Finally! I was wondering when you are going to serve properly!" Nari screams from behind you, since she was with the other extra players. You glare at her from over your shoulder. 

You wait for the referee to blow the whistle and serve immediately. Though, the ball hits the top of the net and starts falling down into Niiyama's court. There is nobody near to receive it, as everyone has moved back, expecting a powerful serve. Well, it was _supposed_ to be one. The libero avoids looking at you as you turn around. 

You receive another ball and this time, your serve is good. It is so fast that the ball is already rolling on the floor after hitting it before the other team realizes what just happened. The third time you serve, their libero is able to receive it, but it flies back into your part of the court. Someone else passes it to your setter and she calls your name one more time, tossing the ball to you. You hit a cross shot, changing the course of the ball in the last second. 

"One more point," you say, but as you turn around, you notice that the match is already over.

**You've won.**

You still can't believe what just happened, your head is spinning, but Nari snaps you out of it by yelling and running towards you. You turn around just in time to catch her as she jumps in your arms. You don't lose your balance, but she still makes you take a few steps back.

"You idiot! You scared the shit out of us at the beginning and then you came back like a hero to save the day! What the hell is wrong with you?! I hate you!" Her laughter through tears and the way she was gripping on your T-shirt says otherwise. You move your head to look at your team; the girls are staring, not knowing what to do. You smile at them, something that was so rare coming from you, and open wide your arms.

_The last wall standing collapses, exposing you to the world._

"Come here. We won with your help as well," you don't have to tell them twice as they all rush and jump on you and on the libero, this time knocking you over. The extra players from the sides join the group hug too.

Some of them are laughing, some of them are crying, while you look up at the tribunes, spotting your husband that has a wide smile on his face. His eyes are full with passion and admiration and you feel your chest tightening. _  
_

_You are so in love with this man._

Niiyama's ace throws daggers in your direction. She has the perfect plan to get back at you, hoping to ruin you and your career forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh, foreshadowing for the next chapter? Maybe👀 Would you believe that we're so early in the story but I already added too many things that weren't planned? Hahaha, this is becoming a running joke, I hate it. This story is supposed to have 15 chapters, so let's see if I stick to that until the very end.


	5. →chapter 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Blood and violence! Please don't read if these themes make you uncomfortable!  
> Also this is another long chapter.

The crowd starts clapping and screaming while you're still on the floor with your team all over you, crying of happiness. The boys' team never celebrated a victory like this; since they've been to nationals 3 years in a row, it became a custom to them. Looking at the banner, "Intense force" doesn't apply to the girls getting up to line up.

 **And that's okay.** You don't have to be like them in order to win, as it was already proven minutes ago. While training your team, you focused more on receiving and blocking, rather than on spiking. Maybe you were overconfident in your blocking skills, as you told your ace that if you couldn't block her, nobody else would. But at the same time, Ushijima never managed to destroy the wall that you would put in front of him, no matter how strong he got. You could always tell where the ball was going just by watching his form.

Years of intense self-training, lots of tape rolls and numerous visits to the doctor to check if your fingers were fine... _all of these in each block_... and here you stand, bowing in front of your rivals after defeating them. You rise up with a proud smile and walk towards them to shake the other captain's hand. Her grip is firm and she has a determined look on her face.

"We'll be watching," her words catch you off guard. You nod and let go of her hand, as it was time to thank the crowd for their support. Your girls have already started departing, but you run back towards your advisor. She opens her palm and you pick up only your ring, leaving the necklace behind and you join your team in front of the tribunes.

"Thank you for all of your support!" You speak first, followed by your teammates as you bow down in front of the public. The boys are clapping together with Minako. She feels guilt and jealousy as she looks down at you, since the other pinch server wasn't that useful in the match, and hopes that her arm heals soon enough so she can make up for this.

You wave at the crowd with your left hand, flashing the golden band around your ring finger for everyone to see. You and Ushijima simply stare at each other with wide smiles. His eyes are gentle, full of love and adoration for you. Being so engulfed with each other, you don't even notice Kiyoko a few feet to your right, wiping tears away from her face. Her worries fade away. _This is nothing like_ ** _that_** _day._

Nari gets behind you, squatting as her hands grab onto your thighs. Her head goes between your legs and in an instant your feet are no longer touching the ground.

"Nari, what the fuck are you doing?" But she's completely ignoring you, laughing like a maniac while approaching the tribunes where your husband and his teammates are, with you on her shoulders. You hold your hands up and high five Minako first and then move to the boys as each of them congratulates you on your victory.

When you reach Ushijima, nothing around you matters anymore.

Everyone is suddenly watching you two, hoping that their assumptions will finally be cleared.

"Congratulations, (Name)," his tone is sweet like honey and his smile could literally kill you. Looking at the man in front of you, _your_ man, your _husband_ , you gain the courage to do something that you've wanted to do for a long, long time and finally make people understand where you stand.

You grab him by the collar of his hoodie, dragging him down at your level. You give him a small peck on the lips, not wanting to attract more attention, even though the whole gymnasium clearly didn't miss this interaction. After you pull away and let go of his hoodie, he's just staring at you, dumbfounded. You wink at him and laugh at his expression as Nari starts making her way back to the team, cheering for you.

Ushijima slowly crouches down and covers his red face. His ears are also of the same bright color. He screams internally, but almost externally as well.

"Wakatoshi-kun you are so cute, hahaha!" Tendou comments and the rest of the team laughs at their flustered captain. It is the very first time they see Ushijima in such a state.

What you did was pure embarrassing for him. He is used to being the center of attention everywhere he goes, but this is totally different. You have kissed a few times, but never in the presence of anyone. You said it yourself, you wanted to keep the nature of your relationship to yourselves, so _why_ did you do that? People have already started talking around him: _'I told you that they were married'_ , _'I can't believe this'_ , and so on.

After a few seconds Ushijima regains his composure and surfaces. He is still pretty red in the face, but his expression is back to his usual stoic one as he watches Nari putting you down. You throw your arm around her shoulder and she does the same thing as you walk towards your teammates.

"Didn't know that you had it in you, captain _Ushijima_ ," she teases you. You scoff at her and roll your eyes, but both of you are grinning.

"Wha-Wha-What was that just now?" Yumena asks as you get in front of her.

"Isn't a wife allowed to kiss her husband?" You say, flashing the ring on your finger together with a wicked smile.

"Husband?!" They all say at the same time, eyes wide open and jaws dropped.

And soon they start bombarding you with different questions: "Are you really married to Ushijima-senpai?", "For how long have you been married?", "Why didn't you invite us to the wedding?"

"Oi!" Your harsh tone puts an end to their ruckus. "Don't forget where we are at the moment. I promise to answer all of your questions when we go back to school, but behave for now," they all bow in front of you and apologize and you return to reunite with your advisor.

Before the awards ceremony, there is a short break for players to stretch or go to the bathroom. You and Nari are still around the court, lying down on the floor. You have never felt so tired after a match.

"Are you sure... about quitting volleyball?" She asks in a uncharacteristic calm tone as she's eyeing the ceiling.

"Yeah, how about you?"

"I don't know. I'm still unsure. Maybe the nationals will change my mind"

"Maybe..." and so, silence settles down. There are many things that Nari wants to tell you, but she decides to do it another time.

During the awards ceremony, as the girls have their medals being placed around their necks, you finally come to realize what's happening: you're actually going to the nationals; for the first time in many years, Shiratorizawa's girls are flying to the orange court.

Because you didn't go to the bathroom during the short break, you are going now, while your teammates are in the lockers. You're still in your volleyball uniform, but you have enough time to change until you have to get on the bus and return to school. As you enter, you find Niiyama's ace there. She glares at you while you approach the sink to wash your hands.

And that's when you notice that she isn't alone as someone behind you locks the door. There are two more girls in here. _Crap!_ What is happening?"

"Get her!" She yells at the other two, as they both grab you by the arms. You wriggle to escape, but they bring you to your knees. You want to scream for help, but the ace quickly silences you by putting a pocket knife at your neck.

"Be quiet, bitch," she spits with venom. Right before you can say anything back, she withdrawals the knife and punches you in the face. God dammit, her spikes are strong, but so is her punch. You just groan in pain, but that makes her hit you again.

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up! Where the fuck did you come from? You were one of the weakest blockers I've ever faced and suddenly you are the best. What the fuck did you do? And what was that performance in the stands? There's no way you are married to Ushijima Wakatoshi, he would never look at you, you ugly whore!"

"So what if I am?" Despite the way your face hurts, you still have the courage to be smug. "Do you have any explanation for the ring around my neck then?" You managed to put it back together with tape, as a temporally fix.

She yanks the necklace, breaking it again and holds it in front of you. This is what angers you enough to finally push off the girls holding you down. They give up too easily and you launch yourself at the ace to retrieve your jewelry.

You feel a sharp pain in your abdomen. Her expression is of pure terror. As you look down, you realize that she has the knife pointed at you and now the object is piercing your flesh. Crimson liquid starts gushing out, staining the purple and white material of your jersey.

She didn't want to do this, but her hand moved on instinct as you approached her.

The other two girls scream in fear and dash out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. This wasn't supposed to happen, they were supposed to scare you a bit, but, again, their ace went overboard.

She pulls out the knife and you fall down on the floor. Your body is already tired from the match and this is apparently the final blow. You can't move, you can't stand up, and it seems like you're slowly losing your consciousness.

Just as the ace exits the bathroom in a panicked manner, Nari passes by, with Tendou and Yamagata. Everyone was already outside in front of the bus, waiting for you. She catches a glimpse of you, lying on the dirty bathroom floor, looking at her through half-lidded eyes.

"Go after her! Call an ambulance, we have an injured person here!" The boys peek inside for a second and their blood runs cold. The libero starts running after the ace and she picks up her pace, realizing that she's being chased.

Tendou and Nari get inside, finding a huge pool of blood next to you.

"(Name), (Name)! Hang in there! An ambulance is coming, okay?" The fear in her voice is evident, even though she's trying to appear calm. She has no idea how to stop the bleeding; her hands are shaking. People have gathered outside the bathroom in the meantime, watching and whispering. There's a person talking on the phone, asking for an ambulance.

"To...Toshi... where's Toshi?" You barely can speak coherently.

Even in this situation, you care more about him than about yourself. No matter how hard you tried not to fall in love with him, you failed miserably. And you realize that just now, thinking that you can't leave this world without telling him how you feel. He's the only one left in your life.

"Step aside, please!" A woman yells from the crowd. "I'm a doctor, let me pass, please!" She walks in, a worried look on her face as she finds the other two teenagers around you. Nari is on the verge of crying.

Outside, the rest of the team, together with the boys' team, and the old married couple are still waiting for you in front of the building. The other three were tasked with looking for you, since Ushijima was immediately surrounded by your girls so he could 'spill the tea'.

"Ah, young love is so beautiful!" Terano Washijou says. "Do you remember when we used to be so young, Tanji?" Her husband is trying to maintain his demonic attitude outside the court as well, even though his wife is all over him, holding onto his arm. "I wish you the best, Wakatoshi-kun! I know for sure that you two will have a happy marriage. (Name) is a special girl after all!"

Ushijima just gives her a small smile and bows slightly. "Thank you"

"Speaking of which, I wonder what's taking them so long"

You aren't with your old teammate from middle school, as she left before the awards ceremony. _So where are you?_ Ushijima has a bad feeling about this, but can't explain why.

The door of the Gymnasium opens wide as Niiyama's ace runs away, followed by Yamagata shortly behind her. The libero manages to finally catch her, grabbing her by the wrist.

"Let me go!" She yells at him, wriggling to get out of his grasp, but he doesn't loosen it. The violent movement of her body makes the knife and the necklace with your ring fall from the pocket of her jacket. They land on the cold pavement, right in front of Ushijima's eyes.

He bends down and picks up the jewelry. He looks at her like he wants to kill her, judging by how harsh his frown is. As he's about to start questioning her about why she's in the possession of your wedding band, the loud siren of the ambulance pierces his ears.

At the same time, Tendou emerges from the building with you in his arms. Your thigh is full of blood just like your jersey, that's now ripped, letting the makeshift bandage on your wound to be seen. It's already soaked red.

Ushijima is just standing there, not knowing what to do. Everything moves slower around him as Tendou approaches him. He looks down at you, barely conscious and covered in the crimson liquid.

_His mind is blank. He doesn't know what to do... He's terrified._

"Wakatoshi-kun, snap out of it!" Tendou yells at him. "She's not dead"

The paramedics soon arrive in front of the Gymnasium, carrying the stretcher with them.

"We got a call about someone that got stabbed"

"Yes, there she is. She lost a lot of blood and the wound might be infected. A doctor helped us stop the bleeding partially," the red haired informs them as he places you down on the stretcher.

"Is anyone from her family here?" He asks, as the other two paramedics are carrying you back to the ambulance.

"I am her husband," Ushijima speaks up. But the older man doesn't seem to understand his words as he blinks, confused at the ace.

"Listen, boy, we don't have time for jokes—"

"I wasn't joking," comes Ushijima's ice-cold tone, followed by a harsh frown. The medic turns to the other adults present.

"He's telling the truth," Washijou says. The man looks one more time at Ushijima and then clears his throat.

"Well, in that case, I need you to come with me"

Ushijima eyes Niiyama's ace one more time.

"Go with (Name), she needs you," Tendou pats him on the back. "We'll take care of things here"

The left-handed man starts jogging towards the ambulance together with the other paramedic. As he gets inside, a police car parks in front of the stadium. The door closes in his face and he sits down next to the other people in the ambulance.

His heart cracks with each second he stares at you, lying in front of him lifeless, almost like a corpse. No matter how hard he tries to push them away, dark thoughts fill up his mind. Guilt, fear, anger... strong emotions start bubbling up in his chest.

•••

Ushijima sighs loudly after another long period of time passes without anyone coming to announce him about your status. After having signed some basic paperwork, what is left for the ace is to sit down and wait for the doctors to do their business.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out. Tendou is video-calling him so he walks outside to answer, not wanting to disturb the others in the waiting room.

He is greeted not only by the red-haired middle blocker, but by both volleyball teams.

"Hey, how are things over there? We just finished with the police so now we're back at school"

"(Name)'s still in the operating room. They have to make sure that no vital organ was punctured, clean the wound, and suture it"

"Oh, I understand... What about you? How are you?" His best-friend asks him.

"I'm good," that's a lie, but nobody dares to correct him. "What happened to that girl?" He wants to think about something else for a second.

"Ah, our statements were pretty useful and so was the recording from the security camera. The other two girls that were in the bathroom also gave statements. They still need to talk to (Name)-chan, but they have to wait for her condition to be stable"

"I see," Ushijima seems lost, judging by the emptiness in his eyes.

"You should get back inside, Wakatoshi-kun. Call us if anything happens or if you need us to be there, okay?"

"Okay, bye," he presses the red button and the call ends. He sits in the same spot as before and then buries his face in his palms because he's about to cry.

 _'Promise me that you'll protect (Name), okay, Wakatoshi?'_ His father told him years ago. But he did exactly the opposite. It's not like you ever needed him to protect you; you always tried to prove to him that you can manage just fine without him. Still, Ushijima feels like all of this is his fault and the guilt is eating him on the inside.

"Wakatoshi?" A female voice calls him and he jolts up to find the source of the familiar tone.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" The last time Ushijima has seen his mother was at your wedding. She's still in her work clothes, probably ditching work to come here.

"I got a call from school that (Name) is in the hospital," she sits down next to her son, placing her bag in her lap. "What actually happened? They told me that she got stabbed in the abdomen"

"I don't know what happened. I wasn't there... I wasn't there with her," Ushijima clenches his fist. "I failed. mom, I failed to protect the woman I love," and that's when he finally breaks down, tears starting to roll down on his face as he cries quietly.

Ushijima is a strong man with the mental strength of a warrior. The loss from yesterday is something natural for him. It wasn't the first time he lost against a team. That's what usually happens in sports. If you're not good enough, you get defeated so you only have to get stronger in order to stay more on the court.

Ushijima could lose all the matches that follow, but not you. He can't lose _you_. Besides his family, you are the only one that has seen him crying or in a defenseless state like in the current moment.

"Oh, honey, come here," his mother wraps her arm around his broad shoulders and has his head resting on her chest, as she rubs circles on the material of his hoodie to calm him down. She then places a kiss on his forehead. "It's all going to be alright, dear. (Name)'s a tough girl"

It's been years since the last time she has seen her son crying. Sometimes, she feels like he matured way faster than the other children his age, that maybe the divorce affected him more than he wants to admit. It did, indeed, but the only person that knows about this is you. Just like he held you in his arms while you were crying about the death of your parents, you held him in the same way. Except he wasn't crying. He just looked really sad so you felt like hugging him.

"Ushijima's family?" A doctor speaks and the two get up. Ushijima wipes his tears and approaches the man. "You're her husband, right?" The others in the waiting room give him weird stares, but he could care less about that right now.

"I have only good news," the doctor starts, "no organ was punctured and the wound didn't get infected after all. It isn't that deep so it will surely heal very fast. She's still under anesthesia, but if you want to talk to her, you can go. We moved her to a new room. I understood that she's a volleyball player so training is absolutely prohibited until the wound closes"

"Thank you, doctor, thank you so much! What are you waiting for, Wakatoshi? Go see your wife until I discuss some things with the doctor," the boy nods and excuses himself politely as he jogs towards your room. He _needs_ to see you like his life depends on it.

He knocks on the door and a nurse lets him in, leaving afterwards to give you two privacy. You don't look better than in the ambulance, with all those cables around you.

Ushijima sits in the chair on your left. Gingerly, he grabs your hand, holding it between his calloused palms. He places a kiss on your fingers and that's what jolts you awake. You hum, but he soothes you.

"Shh, it's me," his deep voice echoes through the room. You turn to look at him through half lidded eyes and smile with all the energy you have left. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got hit by a truck"

"Sorry, that was a stupid question to ask"

"Don't apologize," your hand escapes from his grasp and you cup his cheek. "You cried," you rub his soft skin with your thumb.

"I was worried... and scared... I should've been there—"

"Stop. Nobody could have known that this was going to happen. So don't blame yourself, please," he melts in your touch, one hand holding your arm and the other cupping yours on his face. And tears start dripping out of his eyes again.

"I thought that I was going to lose you, (Name). I love you so much, I can't imagine my life without you," the words take you by surprise, but also warm your soul.

"I love you too, crybaby. Now stop crying, I'm not dead, you can't get rid of me that easily. I'm yours forever. Even though I lost my ring"

"You didn't," he shoves his hand in his pocket and pulls out the shining metal. He hesitates to put it back on your finger. "Do you actually want to be my wife? Be honest with me"

"Yes, silly," you answer with the same weak smile, but it's enough for Ushijima to know that you're telling the truth.

"I want a happy marriage with you, (Name). I want to be the best husband for you," he says as he's sliding the ring on your finger, in the same way he did months ago. But this is more intimate than before.

"Me too. And I know that you will," he smiles back at you and bends down on the bed, kissing your lips gently and lovingly. It feels like you have sealed your marriage only now.

You tell him what happened in the bathroom and soon two officers come to interrogate you. Ushijima stays with you until you're too tired to keep your eyes open so he leaves, not before kissing you on the forehead. His mother is the one that drives him back to school.

Reaching his room, he finds the same people that were on the video-call inside.

"You're back already? What happened? You said that you would call us!" Tendou snaps at him.

"Sorry, I forgot. (Name)'s fine, no organ was affected and the wound will most likely heal sooner than expected," they all exhale in relief. "She also asked you," Ushijima looks at Nari, "to pack some of her clothes since they're going to send her home tomorrow or in two days"

"And for how long will she be home?" Minako asks.

"Depends on how fast the wound closes. She is not allowed to play volleyball until then as it might open"

After some more talk, everyone returns to their own dorm, leaving Ushijima and Tendou alone.

"Hey, man, I know that things are shit at the moment, but I'm here for you"

"Thank you, Tendou"

"You don't have to thank me, that's what best-friends do for each other. Now, come on, you need to rest, you look like a zombie. The hardest part passed so you can relax for now"

Even though you are far away from each other, your bond feels stronger than never before. You are finally walking next to each other on this path called 'life'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take this 4k worded chapter as an apology for not updating in 3 weeks. It might happen again since college is killing my free time so I hope that you can forgive me in advance. The next chapters hopefully won't be as big. (I'm probably lying though)
> 
> Shit went down in chapter four of 'Lead Wings' as well. I didn't plan this btw, it's just a coincidence that lowkey scares me.
> 
> Also they finally kissed and confessed ASDSGFB I can just end the story here, but I have more stupid shit planned. And of course, more trauma to uncover so stay tuned!


	6. →chapter 5.

_You don't even remember how all of this started. Everything clicked together years later, when you met_ **_him_ ** _and your life changed forever. In a good or bad way, we shall see..._

_After your grandpa had passed away, your mother decided to bring your grandma to live with you. Even though your father complained and said that there was a reason as to why you had cut almost all connections, she didn't listen to him._

_"None of these would have happened if you had married Utsui Takashi," your grandma would say every time at the dinner table when your mother complained about something at work._

_"Don't start again, mother, please"_

_"It's because you broke your promise with your grandfather! You brought shame and misfortune on our family!"_

_"Enough!"_

_And she wasn't treating you better either. She looked at you with disgust and hate since you represented the living proof that her daughter had defied her. Not once she showed interest in you._

_In just a few months, your kind and loving mother became short-tempered and cold; even the littlest thing would set her off. Your perfect family was falling apart and you were too young to do something about it. Your father was the only one that seemed to remain sane and proposed moving his mother-in-law to a retirement home, but, again, your mother didn't listen to him._

_Instead, she sought help from her longtime friend and 'ex-fiancé', thinking that the only way of solving the problem was to have you make up for her past mistake. She wasn't thinking straight and your father didn't try to reason with her anymore._

**_"(Name), this is Wakatoshi-kun. One day you are going to be his bride so try to get along with him, okay?"_ **

_The boy from behind his father's leg was staring at you with big olive eyes while holding onto a volleyball ball with his small hands. You were taller than him and that was intimidating him._

_It seemed like the only one that was satisfied with this situation was your grandma, as she stopped daily pestering her daughter. Utsui Takashi tried to talk things out with your mother, but without success._

_At first, you hated Ushijima. He was a shy child, since he had no siblings. Every time you would fight over something, he would end up crying so you would have to calm him down. Just thinking that this huge crybaby would be your husband one day made you hate him even more. But you still continued to play volleyball with him and his dad, or just with him when the man was busy._

_In middle-school you joined the track team just so you can be away from home as much as possible, practicing more than necessary. You always wore a harsh frown, pushing people away. You just wanted the ground to swallow you up so you could disappear and not marry that boy. But then Nari came into your life and things started to be a bit better._

_Ushijima's parents divorced soon after, but it didn't seem to affect him at all. But as you two were outside, resting on the porch after playing some volleyball, you noticed how tight he was gripping the ball and so you got up and hugged him. No matter how much you disliked him—yes, you went from hate to dislike—you couldn't ignore how he was feeling. You knew that Ushijima loved his father more than anything._

_"I'm here for you," you didn't know what made you say that to him. He didn't push you away either, nor cried, but instead wrapped his arms around you to have you closer._

_Ushijima obviously went to Shiratorizawa, one of Miyagi's best schools when it came to volleyball and soon became a star. You on the other hand, had to spend hours extra training and only by the end of your 3rd year you started to gain some attention._

_You remembered so vividly the day when everything had crumbled at your feet, making your life more miserable than before. Your parents never came to any of your competitions, using the excuse that they had to work. After begging them for days, they agreed to come since it would have been your last time on the field if you didn't win. You also asked them not to tell Ushijima about this._

_But you couldn't have this small moment of happiness, as just with a day before the tournament, your parents were killed by a drunk driver. They were on the sidewalk and the other person lost control of the car, crashing into them and killing them on the spot._

_You could've mourned and not shown up for the competition, but you didn't want to leave your teammates on their own as you were both their captain and their best athlete. Your eyes were red with huge bangs under, but that didn't stop you from giving your best. Even though everyone tried to stop you from stepping on the field, you didn't listen. It was the only thing that was distracting you from what had happened._

_At the distance event, you were ahead of everyone, the others way behind you. But as you were approaching the finish line, nothing seemed to matter to you anymore._

_What would happen if you won? There is nobody waiting for you there to congratulate you. There is nobody waiting for you at home to listen to you while you talk about your day._

**_You were left alone in this world._ **

_You stopped running right in front of the finish line, letting the other girl that was behind you to pass by you. You walked the rest of the distance, finishing in second place. Your action caught everyone by surprise as nobody saw it coming. After a few more steps, you fell to your knees, gasping for air, but crying at the same time._

_Nobody dared to say anything to you, not even Nari, that would always scold you for a bad performance. Instead, she picked you up and held you until you calmed down. The only one that had a problem was the girl that won, claiming that her victory is meaningless, since you gave up like that. She wanted to insist more after you said that you didn't care, but seeing your expression, one of pure sorrow, she apologized and left._

_And as if the day wasn't bad enough, Ushijima's family was also notified about the death of your parents. His father was already on his way back to Japan so he could be there for their funeral. You didn't want relatives or family friends surrounding you with forced affection, you wanted your parents back and something to fill up the void that got even bigger. You wanted the life you had had before your grandma had moved in with you._

_The same woman that had the audacity to say that this was another consequence of your mother breaking her promise. She was lucky that both your aunt and Nari were there to hold you back before you killed her on the spot. You only got to slap her and knock her down from her feet, putting all of your rage in that one hit._

_But now it was just you in the house; Nari went home, even though she insisted on staying over and the adult women were at the funeral home to finish the rest of arrangements. You took a shower and changed and now were sitting on your bed, holding your knees to your chest as you cried softly. You kept asking yourself, what had you done to deserve such a fate?_

_Footsteps were heard on the hallway and they stopped in front of your room. Someone knocked on the door and since you assumed that it was your aunt, you let them in. But instead, you were met with Ushijima's tall figure as he stepped inside. He was still in his tracksuit since he came there straight from practice. Your face was messed up with tears since you weren't expecting him. You tried wiping them away, but he had already seen them._

_He sat on your bed and immediately pulled you into a tight hug. His scent invaded your nostrils, making your heart skip a beat. He smelled good and for some reason, that calmed you down a bit._

_"You can cry if you want. Don't hold it in," he was kind of stiff and awkward, but you appreciated his effort nonetheless. "I'm here for you," he said and that made you burst into tears again. You passed out from exhaustion moments later in his arms._

_You woke up when his parents arrived and were looking for you two. Ushijima got up to let you rest, but you grabbed him by the arm and begged him not to leave you alone. You weren't fully conscious, but he still obliged to your request._

_The next time you woke up was because you were hungry as you hadn't eaten anything the entire day. You looked up to find Ushijima sleeping as well, his back resting on the headboard and your head in his lap. He had a calm expression and it reminded you of him as a child. Your hand reached him, cupping his cheek and you rubbed his skin with the pad of your finger._

_Realizing what you were doing, you quickly retreated your arm, making sure not to disturb him. Staring at him, he looked innocent and harmless, totally different from how he was on the court when he hit those tosses. You came to many of his matches, just to see him following his dream._

_It finally clicked to you: you weren't that alone, you still had him. No matter how many times you tried to push him away, he never gave up. And because of this, you were going to cling to him for as long as he would let you._

_You finally got up and shook him awake, asking if he wanted to go to eat with you. In the living room, you found his parents talking with your grandma and aunt, but you completely ignored her, dragging the boy in the kitchen before she could say anything._

_You knew that your life would be hell with her and so your only option was to move away. You didn't grieve much, using the remaining months of your last year in middle school to study for Shiratorizawa's entrance exam.  
_

_You got the highest grade, being placed immediately in an advanced class and you maintained that for the three years. You didn't have any chance of getting a sports scholarship like Ushijima so that was your only option. And to your surprise, Nari followed you, dropping out of the track team in high-school as well._

_After the death of your parents, your grandma's sanity started to deteriorate, saying that the whole family was cursed and the only way of getting rid of it was for you to get married as soon as possible. You did everything she wanted just to get her off your back and by the beginning of your second year of high-school, your wedding was almost done being planned._

_But one day you got a call from your aunt, your father's sister, informing you that the old woman was in the hospital. Since you were far away from home, she was the one taking care of her. It seemed like nothing serious at first, but in less than two months, your grandma passed away. She had refused to take her medicine or seek medical care._

_After the short funeral, you and Ushijima were once again in your room, but this time, the atmosphere was thicker than ever._

_"We can cancel the wedding if you want. I know that you never wanted it. You don't have to force yourself to—" before he could finish his speech, you grabbed him by the face and kissed him. It was your very first kiss and it was with him; with the guy you never wanted to be around you._

_"But I do want this, I want to be with you. You're the only one I have left in my life," he smiled at you and took your hands into his. You could have waited a few more years, but money was already spent on different arrangements so it would have been a waste._

_"Okay, we're getting married then," as you were looking at each other, your faces started getting closer and closer until your lips met. It was weird and clumsy, since none of you had any experience, but it didn't matter in that moment._

_As your grandma was no longer in control, you chose to have a modern wedding with a few guests and then go back to school like nothing happened._

_Your second kiss was supposed to happen after you had exchanged rings, but you were too nervous to mess up in front of everyone so Ushijima instead placed a kiss on your forehead. The same night, at the hotel, he helped you get out of your dress before leaving to his room to get changed too._

_He came back a few minutes later, dressed in a simple grey T-shirt and shorts. Even though you were both tired, you stood up until almost morning, talking about this event. You enjoyed yourself more than expected and told him that your favorite part was the cake cutting, while Ushijima said that his was your first dance together._

_Your second kiss was induced by Ushijima. Besides tired, you were both a bit tipsy and he let the alcohol take control, his mouth hungrily chasing yours in a messy kiss, while your hands went under his T-shirt._

_He quickly pulled away, grabbing your hands and pushing them away. You were snapped back to reality immediately, noticing that his whole face was red._

_"I'm... I'm not ready for this," he was refusing to look you in the eyes, afraid that you would judge him. Despite his scary appearance, Ushijima was still quite shy and innocent. Your forehead rested on his._

_"It's okay. I can't say that I'm ready for this either. We don't have to rush things, we have our entire lives ahead of ourselves," you lifted his head, "you are not less of a man because of this, okay?" He nodded. Even though he had his own room, you both ended up falling asleep in your bed._

_You returned back to school on Monday, acting like nothing had happened. But you started stopping by the boys' gym more often than before. You trained together almost daily. And sometimes, you would steal a kiss from him, making the tips of his ears turn red._

_Neither of you had said 'I love you' so far, but there was enough time to do so._


	7. →chapter 6.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of NSFW towards the end??? I don't know

Ushijima's mother is taking care of all the paperwork necessary while you gather your stuff. Her son came the day after the incident with a bag full of your personal belongings, packed by Nari and apparently the whole team since they left a note signed by everyone. They also sent you candies.

As there is nothing else the doctors can do for you, they are sending you home to rest and let the wound heal. They also informed you about how to clean and take care of it in the meantime. You will have to come back some time later to get the threads removed. You will return to school after that, but it's unsure whether or not your body will be fully recovered so that you can play again.

This situation is on another stress level. At least one of your worries is gone: since you were the one 'coaching' your team, Washijou decided to step in and give you a hand by training the girls himself. When Nari called you and gave you the news, you thought that she was messing with you. But it's all true and you still can't believe it.

You are getting changed from your pajamas into some casual and baggy clothes. Your body is still in a lot of pain and you can barely move around. You notice that your wedding band is still on your finger. You never took it off after Ushijima put it back on, staring at it every night before going to sleep. And you're not planning on removing it now anyway. That's where it belongs.

He couldn't visit you again, since school started the following day for everyone and you miss him terribly. You didn't tell him that while you were texting though, because you knew that he would have showed up the next day, no matter if he had classes or had to study.

"Are you ready?" Ushijima's mother comes in. You nod and are about to pick up your bag from the bed, but she snatches it from you. "You're not allowed to lift heavy objects, let me do it," if there's one thing that your husband has in common with his mother is that once they decide on something, it's really hard for them to change their mind.

She helps you get in the car and put your seatbelt on, making sure not to put too much pressure on your wound. She's taking you home, but not to _your_ home, the one you grew up in all your life. No, that house was sold after your wedding, since you are going to need money for college. You're going to Ushijima's house and will have to spend the next two or three weeks there, alone with his mother and grandmother.

The only times you visit them is during the holidays and it's always with Ushijima, but you don't stay much since both of you have training. The last time you were there was a few days after your wedding. You always have this feeling that you are not welcomed there, no matter how many times Ushijima has told you that his family actually likes you.

The ride is not that long, but it's really quiet. Well, the older woman is not that talkative either... wonder where your husband got that from... But in all seriousness, Ushijima's mother is a person that you admire. She's a strong, independent woman, raising her son all by herself. She came to some of his matches at the nationals, cheering on for her son with you in the crowd, supporting his dream even though it hurts her to have him so far away from her.

_Ushijima might have been better off with a person just like that—_

"We're here," she snaps you out of your negative thinking after pulling into the driveway and turning off the engine.

"Oh... thank you for the ride," she gives you a small smile and removes her seatbelt. You get out of the car and she goes to pick your bag, taking it inside as you follow her. The traditional house is unchanged. With the winter right around the corner, the trees have been losing their leaves, but the building still stands tall and imposing, characteristics specific to the Ushijima family.

"Grandma is not home?" You ask after removing your shoes in the genkan and placing them in the shoe rack.

"No. I had to put her into a nursing home. I am at work almost all day and I can't take care of her on my own"

"Oh, I see... _wish mom would've done that too_ ," you whisper the last part, but you know that she heard you. Still, she makes no comment and continues to guide you through the house.

"I've prepared Wakatoshi's room for you. I hope that you don't mind that"

**_Wait, what?_ **

"E-Eh? Toshi—Wakatoshi's room? There's no problem with it, don't get me wrong! But where is he going to sleep when he visits on weekends?"

"With you, obviously. You are married after all. Just don't have grandchildren yet," she laughs at your flustered face and opens the door to her son's room, dropping the bag on the bed. "I will have to return to work soon, but get comfortable and go eat something if you're hungry. There are snacks, as well as food in the fridge"

"Thank you. Take care on your way back"

And with that, you are alone in the house and free to explore your husband's room. Since you don't have that many clothes, you go snooping through his closet. But as you open it, you find your clothes folded right next to his own. You brought them in some cardboard boxes after selling the house, but you never got the chance to store them properly.

This has to be his mother's work. Jeez, it feels like you are married even more like this. Not that 'married' has degrees of comparison, but at school you have to act differently than any other couple, let alone a married one. You pull out one of his T-shirts and get change into it. It smells like laundry detergent and has a faint scent of his cologne around the collar. You lay down in his giant bed, but remember that you have to remove your bandages soon and so you get up and head straight to the bathroom.

•••

Ushijima's mother returns home hours later and starts preparing dinner, refusing to let you help around the kitchen. "I know that you have a lot of energy, but you have to stay put, (Name)," and she is right. You're no used to just lazing around the house, not doing anything else besides watching TV or playing on your phone.

You've been an athlete almost all of your life, spending the majority of your free time training until your muscles beg you to take a break. You feel restless already and the fear of not playing at the nationals is growing with each passing hour. Life sure loves making you miserable.

"(Name)? Can I come in?" The older woman knocks on your door and you answer affirmatively.

"Is dinner ready?" You ask, getting up, but she sets you back on the bed.

"It's almost done, but I wanted to talk to you before we go eat," shivers run down your spine. _Oh, this can't be good_. She never had a 'private' conversation with just you. A hundred scenarios pass through your mind and each of them has a bad ending.

"S-Sure, what is it?" She then looks down at her hands with a pained expression.

"I didn't like your mother at the beginning. It took me a while to understand why, but I think it's because I was jealous of her. Takashi never seemed to get over the love he had for her," you open wide your eyes. This is something you didn't know...

"Don't worry, she's not the reason we got divorced. We reached the conclusion that we weren't meant for each other and decided that it was better to split up. I know that it wasn't easy for Wakatoshi, it must have hurt him so much—" You place your hand over hers in her lap and squeeze it softly.

"Wakatoshi was always very mature for his age. I'm sure that he never hated any of you for what happened," you give her a reassuring smile and she traps your hand between hers.

"Thank you, (Name), your words mean a lot to me," she pauses for a second, probably because she's not done talking. "When your mother came to our house and told us about what was going on in your family, I was immediately against the idea of you children getting married. But then Takashi talked to me, assured me that the marriage would never take place and this was just to silence your grandmother. To be honest, I was so furious, I couldn't understand why my husband wasn't taking my opinion in consideration at all"

She then looks up at you and it shatters your heart how hurt she appears.

"My son is my pride and joy, I love him more than anything in this world and I would do anything for his happiness. He finally had a friend to play with, he was starting to open up to the others and I wanted to destroy that because I was selfish. When I heard your grandmother saying those things about you, I—"

"What did she say?" You ask. "You can tell me, there can't be something that I haven't heard already," Ushijima's mother looks away, probably embarrassed herself about what she heard.

"She was talking with your mother and told her that she should've aborted you," ah, yes, the classic: 'I wish you were never born'. Though, your favorite one is her blaming you for your grandpa dying of prostate cancer.

"If someone were to say something like that about Wakatoshi, I wouldn't never let them near him... I couldn't bear to hear the rest of the conversation so I returned outside where you two were playing. I realized then that the person that was suffering the most wasn't me, your mother, or father, it was you, an innocent child that did nothing wrong. I had to change the way I was interpreting the situation," she reaches out and cups your cheek and it almost makes you cry. "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I didn't like you, (Name). You're a beautiful young woman and you deserve all the good things that are happening to you"

That's when tears start rolling down your face and Ushijima's mother hugs you, gently rubbing your back. "Your mother was an amazing woman and I'm glad I got to met her. I will never be able to replace her, but I'm here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. You're my daughter now after all. Well, even if you were a boy, I would've loved you just as much. You're making my son happy and I can't thank you enough for that"

She lets you calm down and then wipes the tears from your face, displaying a wide, kind smile. She also asks you to call her 'mom' or 'mother' from now on and states that she accepts no refusal. While eating dinner, you inform her about your decision of quitting volleyball after high-school. She tells you that she will support you no matter what you're going to do.

•••

A few days later, on Saturday morning, you are awoken by someone kissing your forehead. You slowly open your eyes, finding another pair staring down at you. Ushijima is sitting on the bed, caressing your face with his fingers. Without thinking, you grab him by his blouse, dragging him down next to you. How you manage to do that without hitting yourself or how you have so much power after just waking up is beyond him.

He wants to move away, afraid that he might touch you and hurt you, but you wrap your arms around his head and whisper: "missed you," in a sleepy voice, making him melt completely. He removes one of your arms and kisses the inside of your wrist.

"I missed you too," he knows that you would never say that out-loud with your hotheaded personality, so he's going to take advantage of this. "I brought you some notepads from one of your classmates—" you place your finger over his mouth.

"Shh, it's too early to talk about school. What time is it anyway?"

"Eight in the morning," you groan and let go of him, rolling around in bed. Ushijima leans over you and places another kiss, this time on your neck. "You look cute in my T-shirt," you blush madly, grabbing the blanket to cover yourself. He chuckles at you. _You don't fall back asleep._

You spend the day talking about what has been going on at school. He says that a lot of people came to ask him if it's actually true that you are married, which is something unusual since people rarely approach Ushijima. Reading the name on the notebooks, you find out that they belong to a girl that you have barely talked to. You remember her once talking about how amazing your husband is with two other girls. And when he tells you that she offered him her notebooks without him having to ask her, your suspicions are confirmed: she's either trying to look good in his eyes, or to break you two apart.

This is the main reason that you wanted to keep it all a secret: his fangirls. You slowly start regretting what you did at the stadium. The rumors were already pretty nasty, you are sure they are ten times worse now. Well, _they can try_ , but they will never succeed. Ushijima never cared and never will care about what the others have to say about you.

When Ushijima's mother returns home later that evening, she has your wedding album with her. Since, in a normal situation, none of you would've been able to pick it up, the photographer was given her number to keep in touch. She didn't tell either of you, wanting this to be a surprise. You sit on the couch and look through them together, laughing at Nari and Tendou making funny faces or posing in the background. As you look at yourself, all glammed-up like never before and wearing that beautiful dress, you appear happier that you would've expected.

You remember all the different scenarios you had in mind on how you could have ruined that day, because there was no way in hell that you were going to get married to Ushijima. But here you are, in _his_ house, _in his_ clothes, _making out_ with him in his bed. It's been almost a week since you haven't seen each other, but it feels like an eternity.

His mother knocks on the door, announcing that the bathroom is now free and destroys the mood between you two. You tell him that you are going to take a shower and he asks if he can help you with it. You're not allowed to take a proper bath, but were told to wash the wound daily to reduce the risk of infection.

He helps you remove your T-shirt by gently taking it off. You wince in pain as you raise your hands and he stops immediately.

"I'm sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Comes his alarmed tone. He knows his own strength and the last thing he wants right now is to put you in even more pain.

"I'm okay, Wakatoshi, you can keep going," he resumes his previous action. When he sees that you are wearing absolutely nothing under his T-shirt, his face turns red instantly and he covers it with his hands. You giggle at his shyness, even though you're not better yourself either.

"What? Have you never seen boobs before? You don't watch porn or anything?" You tease him and that makes him get flustered even more, if that's possible. When he removes his hands, he discovers that you are completely naked and he's about to faint until he notices the wound.

Your body is burning under his gaze. You yelp in surprise as he kneels down and places a kiss next to the wound.

"Did that hurt?" He asks with real concern.

"There's no way that you can hurt me by being so gentle, Wakatoshi," and then he kisses you one more time in the same spot.

"You're beautiful, (Name)," his calloused palms on your skin leave hot marks behind even after he removes them.

You get in the bathtub, but don't fill it up with water; instead, you turn on the faucet and place the sponge under it, soaking it with water and then with soap. Ushijima helps you wash your back by rubbing the sponge on your skin. This moment feels more intimate than the other one from before and you can see that his hands are shaking. _Cute_.

He gets you out of the tub, wanting to make sure that you are not going to slip and crack-open your head and then helps you put back your clothes, after you're done drying yourself off. This time, you sleep in your own clothes, much to Ushijima's dismay.

As you're laying in bed, facing each other, the light still on but dim, Ushijima is holding you in his arms, rubbing circles on your back to soothe you to sleep.

"Would you take as much care of me as you do now when I'll be pregnant?" You mumble, barely awake, but Ushijima understands you.

"Of course," you hum and fall asleep and he follows soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS GUYS GUYS are you insane?! This story reached 2k hits and over 100 kudos, whaat? THANK YOU SO MUCH!❤❤❤ I'm sorry for not updating in two weeks, college has been kicking my ass lately and I barely have any energy left to write.
> 
> Regarding all the medical stuff in this chapter and in future chapters as well, a lot of it won't be fully accurate. Please excuse my lack of knowledge in this department, I'm a languages student and all I know is from the internet. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for all the support you've given me for the past few weeks, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm forever grateful
> 
> Oh, and the next chapter is the smut one, okay byeeeee


	8. →chapter 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT. While I can't stop those of you who are under 18 from reading this, I'm asking you to do so at your own discretion. Please don't leave any inappropriate comments if you are a minor. And no references to Yagami Yato either, thank you.

The pain had started fading away after the second week rolled in. Ushijima's mother drove you to the hospital again so that you could get the stitches removed. The doctor was quite impressed with how quickly your wound had healed, but assumed that it was all due to your healthy life-style. After all, as an athlete, you have to follow a strict diet and a workout program.

But in your current situation, any other type of exercise besides going to the toilet has been put on hold until you can move without feeling like you're going to shit yourself from the pain. Ushijima's mother took care to cook you the right type of food, even though you insisted that you would eat anything.

The doctor also applied skin tape over the wound to provide additional support. For this, you aren't needed to come and get it removed, as you can do that yourself at home with baby oil or with a warm wet washcloth. He also had some good news for you: you would be able to return to school next week. To say that you were relieved was an understatement. After spending two and a half weeks alone in the house, with nothing interesting to do and only seeing Ushijima on weekends, you were finally returning to your normal life.

Regarding volleyball though, he advised you to take it easy and _especially_ not make up for missing practice by training extra. Well, even if you _tried_ to do that, Nari or Ushijima would drag your ass out of the gym in less than 3 seconds. You know that you have to listen to him, otherwise you won't be able to play at the nationals.

•••

 **Ushijima misses you.** You are no longer stopping by their gym to scold him about something related to volleyball. Hell, he hasn't even played for a while. It's a change that happened too fast and with you currently at home, he feels incomplete. That's why he's now walking towards the bus station on a Friday evening, even though he's supposed to visit tomorrow. He just can't wait anymore.

He wants to hug you, kiss you, touch you... He wants to feel the warmth of your body in his arms as you both fall asleep. Hearing that you're feeling better put him in such a good mood. Ushijima might look tough and cold on the outside, but he's having a hard time keeping everything under control. You're constantly on his mind every night before he goes to sleep and the only thing that flashes in front of his eyes is the image of you, lying in the ambulance with blood all over your body.

Even though you've assured him many times that it's no longer hurting that bad, he can't help but still worry. Ushijima promised his dad as he was leaving for the US that he would protect you, he promised himself that he would be the best husband for you, but he broke all of those promises.

The guilt settles back in his chest and his eyes start to get teary, but he blinks quickly to push the tears away. The bus is here and there's no point in him still holding on to the past. Things are moving forward and he has to as well: Niiyama's ace and the other two girls are currently serving their sentence according to their implication in the act and you're feeling so much better that you've even started doing some exercises so your muscles won't be that sore when you return. You've moved on and he has to do that as well.

•••

After Ushijima gets off the bus, he texts his mother, letting her know that he's coming over and tells her not to say anything to you. He passes by the local convenience store and steps inside. The whole place is filled with nostalgia. You used to come here together and buy ice-cream while playing outside during summers in middle school. It was the only time when he was back in the neighborhood during the year. You would eat in front of the store in complete silence, unless you would tell him about stuff that happened at your school.

Ushijima finds himself missing that period of time, when things were much simpler than now, when he didn't have to worry about what he is going to do with his life. There are still a few months left of his third and final year of high-school, but since he's not going to the nationals this year, he has a lot of free time and his mind tends to wonder. Is he going to college or heading straight into professional teams?

He scans the shelves with his eyes, looking for your favorite snacks. It's been a while since he has seen you eat something else other than the food from the school's cafeteria and protein bars. You are the only one that's so fixated on your diet and on the way you look and it completely baffles Ushijima. You will always be beautiful to him, no matter what.

After grabbing what he came for, he heads to the cash register, but stops in front of something that catches his attention. _Condoms_. He never knew that there are so many brands and sizes. He picks a pack and checks everything on it and then throws it in the shopping basket before he could overthink his actions.

Ushijima knows what sex is. He's not that innocent or that oblivious. He did his research so that your first time together will be enjoyable for both of you. There's a small chance that you would end up doing it on these days, but he wants to be prepared anyway. He also grabs a bottle of lube and finally reaches the cash register.

The cashier starts scanning his items while Ushijima pulls out his wallet to pay.

"Looks like someone is going to have fun tonight," he says and Ushijima frowns harshly at him. The guy quickly finishes his job without saying anything else, completely intimidated by the tall and angry looking man in front of him and tells him the total after he's done. He pays and leaves the store, holding the bag with the snacks in his hand, but shoves the condoms and lube deep down in his school bag.

He might appear scary, but he feels embarrassed for buying that stuff so much that his whole face, as well as the tips of his ears are red. Well, there's no going back now.

•••

You are watching TV in the living room, bored out of your mind when you hear the front door opening. Ushijima's mother is already home, she's in the kitchen, cooking and she didn't mention anything about having guests over today. You grab the first thing that you see to protect yourself, which is the remote, as you hear heavy footsteps coming closer. If they are a murderer, they are not very good at doing their job.

The rational part of your brain is telling you that maybe it's just a neighbor, while the other part is screaming: "Danger! Danger! Danger!"

But before you could do anything stupid, your husband steps inside the room and frowns as he sees you all tensed up on the couch.

"What are you doing?" He asks, but you instantly flee from the couch and run straight into his arms.

"Toshiii!" He catches you and wraps you in a tight hug. His warmth and scent put you at ease.

"You didn't answer my question," he says and ruins the moment.

"Oh, I thought that you were going to kill me"

"What?" He asks concerned, but you are rubbing your face against his chest while having a contented smile on your face. You look up at him and Ushijima melts on the spot.

"It's not my fault that you didn't tell me you're coming over beforehand"

"I wanted to surprise you. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

"Hmm, I might forgive you if you give me a kiss," you wink at him and flash a wicked smile. He smiles back; he has an arm wrapped around your waist and with his other hand, he cups your face and leans in to kiss you. No matter how many times you do it, you never get enough of him.

"Sorry to ruin the moment," you hear from behind and quickly end your kiss, "but the food is done," Ushijima's mother says. The smell coming from the kitchen invades Ushijima's nose and he knows exactly what his mom cooked: hayashi rice, his favorite dish.

It's rarely that he gets to eat it. When he feels homesick, he would go to a restaurant and order it, but nothing compares to how his mother cooks it.

He lets go of you and you both head to the kitchen to eat. He finds out that it was your idea to cook this dish. Neither of you would be coming home for a while. You are leaving either tomorrow or on Sunday. You won't necessary miss lying around and doing nothing, but you're quite happy that things are returning to normal.

•••

After dinner, you and Ushijima watch some movies while cuddling on the couch until both of you are almost falling asleep. You go to arrange the bed while he showers. When he comes back in the room, he's wearing a yukata. He informs you that his mother gave it to him and that there's one for you as well.

_That woman definitely wants grandchildren and she wants them as soon as possible apparently._

As you're showering, you try to remember when was the last time you wore a yukata. Maybe before middle school? You used to go to a lot of festivals with your parents back then.

You put on the article of clothing, but decide not to wear panties. It's long enough to hide your private parts and it's not like you two are going to do anything anyway. Ushijima has been really gentle with you lately and you're doubting that he will accept to have sex with you. Even if you _really_ want him to do more to you than to kiss you until you're out of breath.

You return to the bedroom and find Ushijima reading. You get under the covers as well, ready to get some sleep until you get a notification on your phone. You check it and let out a squeal, alarming your husband. He puts down his book and looks at you like you are crazy since you are grinning at your phone like a maniac.

"What happened?" He asks and you finally look up from your device at him.

"Oh, just this fanfic that I like a lot got updated"

"What is it about?"

"Uhh...," You definitely can't tell him what kind of dirty stuff you are reading so you go with, "it's a story about two friends," he doesn't seem convinced by your answer, but returns to his own book anyway.

After a few minutes, Ushijima places the book on the nightstand and then looks at you to check if you are sleeping. You are, while still holding your phone which has the screen on. He removes it from your hand, but takes a quick glance at the title before putting it away. _He really wants to know why you got so flustered when he asked about it._

Ushijima turns off the lamp and wraps his hands around your body, bringing you closer to him. He falls asleep immediately.

He's not the type to have nightmares. There are not a lot of things that worry him or has he that many regrets about his life choices. Ushijima's sleep is usually peaceful and restful and he wakes up feeling fresh and ready to attend classes and practice afterwards. _Until this incident happened._

He wakes up from time to time in the middle of the night in cold sweat after another terrible nightmare. He doesn't remember any of them, but his chest hurts every time. It's something related to you, he assumes, as the feeling of guilt doesn't want to go away. _Today is no exception either._ But this time, he remembers it, as everything feels so real.

He's in the garden of his home, walking barefoot on the cold ground. As he reaches the porch, he sees you in your volleyball uniform, back turned to him. He calls your name and asks why are you wearing that, but his whole-body freezes as you turn around. There's blood coming from your side, from the exact same spot where you got stabbed, dripping down your leg and on the ground.

You start approaching him with slow steps, but he can't walk away. His legs feel heavy. He manages to take only a step back, but trips over something and falls on his butt. You are now in front of him, looking down at him with an expression full of rage.

"I got hurt because of you... and for what?... For what?!" You yell. "I don't love you; I don't even care about you! **I should have never married you!** "

Ushijima jumps awake, huffing while his heart is about to burst out of his chest. His whole body is shaking as he takes deep breaths to calm down. He checks to see if he has woken you up, but you are not in bed. The side of your bed is cold as he touches it.

_No, no, **no**._

He escapes the room and goes to search for you in the house, but not a single sound is heard in the large building. As he passes by the kitchen, he sees that the light is on and so he opens the door to find you there in the middle of making a sandwich.

"Oh, hey," you say, smiling and waving at him. He rushes to hug you. "Woah there, easy—" His grasp gets tighter with each passing second, but you managed to pull out your head to speak. "You're going to kill me," you say with a strangled voice and Ushijima lets go of you.

"Sorry," he looks down at the floor, avoiding eye contact like a child that just got scolded. You sigh and wrap your arms around his large middle. He returns the gesture, but this time he doesn't crush you.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He nods. "Yeah, me too. It was just a bad dream, okay?" He stays quiet, until...

"Do you regret marrying me?" He asks in a low voice.

"What? No!" You pull away, wanting to look him in the eyes. You cup his face so his attention is only on you. "Listen to me. I never, not even once, regretted marrying you. You make me the happiest woman in the world, Toshi. Okay?" You drag his head down so you can place a kiss on his forehead and then let go of him.

"Do you want a sandwich as well?" You ask as you resume to your previous action and he answers affirmatively, taking a seat at the table.

As you're cutting the ham, you start talking again. "You know, if I were to tell middle school (Name) that I'm happily married to you after mom, dad and grandma had passed away, she would tell me that I'm fucking crazy. And maybe I am," you look at him as you continue. "I am crazy in love with you"

Ushijima's face turns bright red as you laugh at him. "Hahaha! I can't believe that you got flustered over that bad pick-up line!"

After eating your food, you return to the bedroom, ready to fall back asleep as it is two in the morning. You get under the covers and Ushijima follows, ready to turn off the lamp again, but your horny and sleep deprived brain decides to mess a bit with your husband and to test his limits.

"Can I get a good night kiss?" He reaches down, pressing his lips on yours, but you put your arm around his neck, bringing him closer and deepening the kiss. You hear the sound of surprise he lets out in the kiss and you smirk as you continue to make out with him.

Normally, Ushijima would have pushed you away so you could go to sleep, but it's late and he's not thinking straight. Especially when all of his blood is not going to his brain, but down there. He gets fully hard when you put on top of him and break the kiss. Your yukata loosens itself around your body as you move and your chest is now exposed to him.

"(Name), what are you doing...," you take his hands and place them on your breasts. The contact burns. He makes no move whatsoever, just swallows dryly.

"Touch me, please"

"(Name), you are still in pain—"

"I'm not. My body is fully recovered," you look at him through half-lidded eyes and slowly start grinding your hips on his erection. He squeezes your breasts and lets out a small grunt. "I want to know how you actually feel like, please"

There's no point in denying that you've never imagined this type of stuff with your husband. Ushijima is good looking, having a body sculpted by the gods. Since he started playing volleyball more seriously in middle school, he changed a lot physically and you found yourself thinking about him more that you would want. So, when Nari is at her parents, leaving you alone in the dorm, you have some time for yourself. Even though you try to pretend that your fingers are his, or that the brush handle is his cock, you know very well that everything is bigger when it comes to him.

"Are you sure?" You nod eagerly.

"I want you so bad, please," if he refuses or says that he's not prepared, you will understand him perfectly and won't force him. But you just wanted to show him that you indeed are ready for it. So, when he pulls you into another kiss, you grind faster on his cock.

Ushijima starts fondling with your breasts and pinches your nipples as you pry open his yukata so you could touch him as well. Your hands travel on his solid chest and upwards until your reach his face and cup it. His tongue is all in your mouth, exploring your wet cavity as you keep moaning. He runs his calloused palms on your thighs under your clothing and rests them on your hips.

You break the kiss, as both of you are out of air and you also stop your movement. He stares again at you, this time your yukata exposing your bare pussy as well. Your cheeks are red, eyes half-lidded, and you are breathing heavily. His cock twitches in his boxers at this view. You want to go back at it and remove that damn piece of underwear, but Ushijima stops you and tells you to wait.

You assume that he wants to do it himself or that he changed his mind, but when he grabs his school bag and starts rummaging through it, you are confused. He returns to bed with a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube.

"Where and when did you get these?!" He sits back down and places the objects on the bed.

"I bought them from the convenience store yesterday. I wanted to be prepared in case something like this were to happen. I don't want to hurt you. That's why I'm asking you again... are you sure about this?"

Maybe you getting stabbed in a bathroom wasn't his fault... _maybe_... but if you are in pain after this, it will be his fault, one hundred percent. And it's not like he doesn't want to have sex with you. He finds himself thinking about what happened at the hotel after your wedding, how cute you looked under him and instantly everything changes to you moaning as he mercilessly pounds into you. This fantasy is what has been helping him rub one out quickly in the shower lately.

"Yes, I want this. Really, really, _really_ bad. And if you're going to ask me one more time, I swear to God—" he doesn't let you finish as he's back to making out with you. You hook your fingers in the elastic of his boxer and finally pull them down with a little bit of help from your husband. You then throw them somewhere on the floor.

At this point, you and Ushijima have been married for a few months; the sexual attraction grows more and more every day. He finds himself wanting to do more to you than cuddle when you're wearing his clothes. And you definitely didn't miss the moment when he pulled up his T-shirt to wipe his sweaty face one time during practice. That sent heat straight down to your core.

You grab his erect penis— _dear lord, he is big_ —and begin to lazily stroke him. He moans and that gives you the chance to stick your tongue in his mouth. He is definitely larger and longer than your hairbrush, but you can take him with enough preparation.

"I want to touch you as well," Ushijima whispers between kisses and you stop so you can grab the lube. You tear the plastic around the cap and pour some on his fingers. He spreads the liquid so that his digits are fully coated and before you can do something else, he plunges a finger inside your cunt. It goes in so easily.

You've had four of your own fingers up your pussy, but it still didn't give you the same amount of pleasure as only one of his does now. Ushijima has a slow and steady rhythm looking only at your face to check if there are any signs of discomfort.

"Does it feel good?" He asks and you hum affirmatively between breaths of air. "Do you want me to go faster? Or to add another finger?"

"Mhhm, please! Stretch me out more, please," you beg and he can't help but obey. He adds another finger, but he still doesn't go as fast and as hard as you want him to. "Toshi~, harder, faster, please, I want to cum!" He groans at your words and starts thrusting as you requested.

The sounds of Ushijima's hand slapping against your wet cunt echo through the room together with your moans. You are on your knees, but you can hardly stay up as he keeps hitting that spot that makes you go crazy. He places the other hand on the back of your head and kisses you again, wanting to muffle your noises like this.

You buck your hips, sometimes your clit rubbing against his palm making you whine and bringing you closer to your climax.

"I'm going to cum, I'm going to cum!" You say during the kiss and he speeds his rhythm. You cum hard, tightening around his fingers. He pulls out his digits when your walls stop squeezing him. He holds them in front of you, your nectar dripping down on his hand. Ushijima maintains eyes contact as he licks them clean.

"Not fair... I wanted to touch you more," you say between huffs. He smiles at you and kisses your forehead.

"Next tisme. I'm at my limit now," he grabs the pack of condoms and pull one out. You think that he might need help with putting it on, but he does it without any struggle that it gives you the impression that he has done this before. You will have to ask him about that later. Right now, the only thing you care about is to hop on that dick.

"How do you want to do this?" But you are one step ahead of him as you climb back into his lap and start slowly sinking on his cock until it's fully inside of you. This is that delicious stretch that you were waiting for.

You straddle him and whisper in his year that he can move once you get used to the feeling of him inside you. Ushijima wraps his arms around your body and sets a slow rhythm, but since he's so deep in you, it makes you whine and moan with each thrust of his hips.

Your face is buried in his shoulder blade, hands grabbing at his yukata as he keeps fucking you.

"Toshi, Toshi, ah! It feels so good~" he's not entirely silent, small grunts escaping here and there from his lips.

"Shit, (Name)...," the way he says your name makes your core shake and you cum immediately after, clenching around his cock like a vice. Ushijima lets out a low moan, implanting his hands in your hips. He then starts moving you on his cock, back and forth, mindlessly chasing his own orgasm.

But because he's using you like that, it makes you moan even louder and you feel a second climax coming. You pull away so you can kiss him, your fingers running through his olive hair and pulling it.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum," he groans in a deep voice, his moves becoming harsher. You whine against his lips and cum again. "Oh, shit," he follows soon after, slowing down as he empties himself in the condom.

You stay like that for a few moments, catching your breath. _Your marriage has finally been consumed._

"Did we just—" You can't speak properly.

"Yeah," you rise up, pulling his cock out and then you collapse on the bed. He falls on his back, one of his hand resting on his chest and the other one he wraps around you to have you close to him.

"That was... Wow," you have no idea what to say. Everything is so embarrassing now. He opens his eyes and looks at you with the same love he always has in his olive orbs.

"It was good. I hope I didn't hurt you"

"You didn't"

"Okay," he reaches to place a kiss on your forehead. "I love you"

"I love you too. But you might want to throw that away," you point at the condom that's still on his penis. That's a lot of cum and _he didn't get soft either_ — He gets up, removing the rubber, knotting it and then he throws it in the trash can.

You look around the bed and notice the pack with the other condoms left. As Ushijima turns around to return to bed, you spread open your legs, holding one of the shining packages with your fingers.

"How about round two?" You ask, placing the rubber between your teeth. Ushijima removes his yukata in a second and then jumps on you.

"You are a terrible influence on me"

"Am I? Well, I guess that you'll have to learn to live with that since I'm your wife," he grins and then kisses you.

"Yeah, you are the best wife I could've asked for," you roll your eyes at him and then giggle.

That night, Ushijima sleeps like a baby, without any other nightmare waking him up in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please respect what I've mentioned in the beginning. I will delete comments and block the people that don't. And as to why I mentioned Yagami Yato, I just don't like her stories that much, I find them hard to follow and unrealistic when it comes to certain aspects, example: characters' size. If you want my opinion on Ushijima's d, this man has around 7 inches; that's my take on the subject.
> 
> On another note...
> 
> Happy New Year! I wish everyone the best! Stay healthy, stay hydrated and take care of yourselves!
> 
> I'm sorry for disappearing like that for almost a month, I'm putting my education first and I will keep doing that as I'm about to announce that I'm going on a hiatus for a month or so. I'm starting college again next week and after that comes 2 or 3 weeks of exams so I won't post anything at all. I'm sorry and I hope you understand.
> 
> Regarding the chapter, smut always takes me so much to write so yeah; I was supposed to post this before the NYE, but I fell asleep while writing it and then I was drunk until the 2nd of January. It's the first time I'm liking how a smut chapter turned out so I hope that you enjoy it as well❤


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